Guess I’m talking about this!
[uh, trigger warning for suicide in the context of it being dealt with in Vuong’s poetry.]
There’s a whole lot to feel things about in Night Sky with Exit Wounds. There’s a lot that’s so much that I won’t ever comprehend it. And even this thing that I’ve been focusing on maybe too much, where I circled every instance of it being mentioned, isn’t something I’ve gone through. I have never had a group of close friends and lovers end their lives in close succession.
But… that is the thing I keep thinking about. Because being young and gay right now doesn’t mean that precise thing occurs, but it does mean that at heart you’re scared of it happening. It does mean that if you think too long about the number of friends of yours who have been through things they shouldn’t have had to go through at all, you can’t actually not cry. Which is why both times I did a reading from this book and both times that we discussed it afterward I’ve just wanted to… sit in silence for a few hours and recalibrate.
That’s it, that’s my Dreaded Personal Connection Post. That I’m … terrified at the thought of these parts in the book, but that I’m glad he wrote about them, incredibly so. Once more, it comes down to I exist. And also, maybe, I’m still here. Even when you didn’t know you would be.